I wonder if you have ever known anyone in your life who reminded you of someone in your family… someone who meant a lot to you and maybe when all is said and done – you felt that there was a reason that he or she came into your life at a specific time. This story is about a woman that I helped care for over three years who fit that description to a “T”. She will be forever remembered by me as a woman who embraced and embodied the term “unconditional love.”
Many years ago I worked for a company that provided in-home care for many different clients – some of which had physical needs and others who basically just needed companionship. This was a part-time job for me which I scheduled around another job I had at the time. One afternoon, I received a call that they really needed someone to work for this woman in Oakwood, Ohio that evening. It seemed at the time that the company had a hard time pleasing this client because none of the caregivers wanted to continue to watch her. I agreed to go… but made sure that I knew what her requirements were before arriving at her residence.
When I arrived Mrs. “W” was a neatly dressed 90 year old who greeted me at the door and used a walker to help her along. She was a tall and slender woman with the most beautiful gray hair…almost white. She forced a smile and I had to remember she didn’t know me and I didn’t know her just yet. She told me her schedule which was dinner at 6:30 sharp prepared from scratch, watching her favorite shows Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy and usually on Sundays she liked to watch Golf tournaments. The rest of the time she explained she loved to read, which she read the Bible every evening and maybe a couple of chapters of a book that one of her daughters would bring over. She also explained that if there was any cleaning to do in the house – she would let me know. And lastly, between the hours of 9:30 pm and 10:30 pm – it was off to bed depending on her mood. Sometimes she felt like staying up to watch a movie and we watched it together.
I thought to myself that caring for her should be pretty easy, however, I soon found out why she kept firing her caregivers. I arrived that day around 5:30 which didn’t leave much time for preparing her meal. She had an inside grill that she wanted all her meat prepared on which bothered me because it would let off smoke and yes, the smoke detectors were right overhead. I am sure her alarm went off several times with that set-up, but I managed to keep them quiet. She wanted a leg of lamb (that was frozen solid) fresh green beans, a salad, and a diet coke. Whenever she wanted something she would ring a bell (which got very annoying). I understood why the hallways were all wooden floors because there would be a path worn in the carpet from all the trips back and forth to her sitting room. Many individuals visited – family, caregivers, gardeners, and repair men. She rang the bell and told me not to thaw out the lamb in the microwave and it was soon approaching 6 pm. So I boiled some water and par-boiled the meat for a few minutes. She liked everything medium rare and the first time around she said it needed to be less cooked…and her bell was ringing constantly the first night I was there. At first – I felt that it gave her pleasure to constantly ring it. I had made the decision to never go back and resigned to the thought of joining the multitudes of other caregivers who did not want to be treated like Pavlov’s Dog. She was nice in her own way though, and was a proud and confident woman. Mrs. “W” often wanted me to fix some extra food for myself and in that instance, I reluctantly added more lamb chops to the grill. During dinner we watched her favorite shows together. I later cleaned up the kitchen and brought her chocolate pudding for dessert. She read the Bible until about nine thirty and said that she was ready for bed. I followed her down the long hallway (like a bowling alley) and was asked to sit outside the bathroom. She called me in when she needed assistance with her night clothes and hair brushing. I think I was a bit intimidated by her at first, and wondered why she didn’t trust some of the caregivers that were sent to her. After I brushed her hair for about 5 minutes – she seemed to be in another world and said that it felt lovely when I brushed her hair and I must have smiled. I was still stressed from the repeated bell-ringing at dinner time and realized that I just had to let that incident go. I was there to assist a woman who apparently needed my help and probably needed more companionship than anything else. She did confess to me that since her husband passed away four years earlier, she had some difficulty adjusting to “single” life again and suffered depression from the loneliness as a result of her husband’s passing.
Mrs. “W” and I had brief conversations while she was getting ready to retire for the night. She asked me if my mother was still living to which I replied “no” and her response was that she was sorry, and that I probably really missed my mother. I remember getting choked up over that and she said that I was like her angel watching over her…which was the same thing my mother said to me when she was diagnosed with scleroderma. I realized that I belonged at Mrs. “W”’s home for however long she needed me.
After I helped her into bed and covered her up I had about an hour to wait until the next caregiver arrived. Mrs. “W” had 24 hour care and each shift had specific tasks that needed to be performed by the end of each shift. Sharon, her main caregiver for seven years, took the night shift while the others took the day and weekend shifts. After leaving that night – I cried all the way home and I felt that my nerves were shot….as my first few scheduled times there were not pleasant.
Mrs. “W” was in pretty good shape for a 90 year old woman – but she did have some major heart surgery many years prior and was on many medications and was on a vitamin regiment. In her younger years, (age 60) she was a golf champion at the country club she belonged to and had a very healthy diet. Sharon would do all the grocery shopping which included mainly organic food and helped Helen (Mrs. “W”) with her medications and took her to any appointments that were scheduled for the week. I managed to make some small talk with Sharon before leaving that evening, but had already made my mind made up that would not return and fear had set in however, the universe had other plans for me.
The following week – I received another call from the caregiving company to assist and watch Mrs. “W” again and I refused even though the company said that she had requested me. I thought that it was a ploy to get me to commit to watching her on a regular basis. At that time….it just didn’t settle very well with me and maybe my intuition was kicking into high gear. Based on that call from the scheduler, I was afraid to answer any calls from the company. Many of the assignments that we were given “weren’t set in stone” since they knew I had a scheduled arrival time at my other job.
The following week I accepted a shift to go back and assist Helen again. I thought to myself if I wasn’t comfortable with the situation, I would just tell the company to schedule me to a different client. The scheduler kept to her story that Mrs. “W” requested my return. After a short debate in my head – I decided in my heart that there must be a reason I needed to go back there. Perhaps there was some lesson I needed to learn, or perhaps a lesson she needed to learn from me.
The main caregiver, Sharon, set up a schedule for me which was a few days a week from three to eleven pm and occasionally I would have to fill in on the weekends if another worker requested time off. I was ok with that schedule as I had a few other private clients that needed my assistance when I wasn’t with Mrs.”W.” She just wanted to make sure I knew what needed to be accomplished on each shift. I was preparing meals for her family, cleaning, watering her flowers, and I started to suggest some things that I thought she would like to do. I tried to be creative with all my clients which made for a fun time for everyone involved! Helen and I did share very similar energies – calming and structured and for some strange reason, I felt she was royalty in a past life…hence the bell ringing!
I will admit that Helen took some getting used to and had a stubborn streak. After I got to know her better we formed special bond and trust. On sunny days, I would suggest going outside so she could sit on the patio and read her favorite book. I would set her up in her reclining lawn chair with a diet coke and a few snacks or fruit for her to munch on. Her home was up on a hill by the 9th hole of the golf course next to the town’s country club. I would take a portion of the daily newspaper to read while I kept her company. After about forty five minutes of reading she would place the book in her lap and doze off for about thirty minutes. I let her sleep and noticed how peaceful she looked. She was probably dreaming about her husband to whom she was married to for over sixty-five years. She admitted to me how lonely it was without him. I felt that they were “Soulmates” because they did so much together and seemed to have a good relationship. They golfed often and rode bicycles as part of their fitness routine. I remember a picture of Jack Nicolas with Mr. “W” and his oldest grandson, which was strategically placed in Mrs. W’s sitting room. Mr. “W” was quite a businessman and owned several companies. Helen consulted with him on several of his business matters and she was definitely a sharp woman. She helped and supported him in his career and together they both achieved financial success and gave back to the community.
Helen and her husband had two girls – both teachers. The oldest daughter, Dottie, after she retired, became a real estate broker and had her own business for many years and did quite well. Many years later, I took care of a man and wife…Cathy and Frank. Cathy also sold real estate and knew Dottie which I thought was interesting…but chose not to work with her. Beverly, was the youngest daughter – and her husband passed away about the same time that Helen’s husband. Beverly was born on Christmas Day and I was noticing so many things in our families that were similar. I share a Christmas Birthday with Beverly which was more than coincidence in my opinion. Universal Intelligence was working in this home.
My mother, Lee, had a flair for decorating, and would always “dress-up” a room with her own unique personality. I remember that my mom loved flowers and nature and utilized that in her room decorations. Mrs. “W” had “dated” wall-paper in her home with flowers and birds which was the first thing anyone saw when they entered her house. Both women loved things in nature and enjoyed to be outside mostly in warmer weather. When Mrs. “W” was younger – she maintained a huge walking garden that had many oriental statues, sitting benches, and beautifully landscaped flowers and plants. Helen loved pink roses and when she could no longer tend to the gardens herself, she had gardeners plant about 135 rose bushes in her front yard and on her long winding driveway on both sides. My observation of her gardens and flowers was just so calming for me. When she would go to Sunday brunch with Beverly, I would go out in her garden briefly and enjoy the peacefulness that was present there. I would also see occasional bunnies, squirrels, and plenty of birds. Mrs. “W” also had about 5 birdhouses in her garden and two hummingbird feeders around her house. I felt that she had her own little piece of heaven right there at home – and I too, was realizing this after a few short weeks there.
I was learning Mrs. “W”’s routine and had it timed “just right” one afternoon. I had noticed that she was low on her Diet Coke and probably would request another before too long. So, I went to the kitchen and fixed her a beverage and just as I was entering her room – she was about ready to ring that bell again! I stopped her just in the nick of time and stated, “You don’t need to ring the bell anymore, I am already here!” She was so delighted and just smiled and replied, “You knew exactly what I needed!” On that note…she put the bell down, and rarely rang it over the next few years. Perhaps that was one small lesson that she learned from me.
My grandmother’s name was also Helen on my mother’s side of the family. She loved roses too, just like Mrs. “W.” and grew several different kinds of rose bushes around her home. When I was around seven years old, I remembered taking trips to grandma’s house and feeling so loved there. My grandmother had a very calming energy similar to Mrs. “W’s” energy. I felt this was what unconditional love was all about and it held no judgement over anyone or anything. I remembered those days when I was very young as I sat in Mrs. “W’s” garden as an adult. It was truly such a beautiful place and often brought me to tears as I remembered the sweet love my grandmother showed me.
Around Christmas time every year, Helen (Mrs. W.) would order from the catalogs she received in the mail for her family. She would spend time every day ear-marking the pages and circling the items she wanted to purchase. About a month before Christmas she would go through the catalogs again and make final decisions on what she would purchase for her family and friends. She was really trusting of me and gave me her credit card number so I could place the calls and order the items she requested. I thought it was great when she called me her “Busy Bee” because I enjoyed ordering the sweaters and ties she requested. She surprised me one afternoon when she said that I could order anything that I wanted from the catalogs as a “thank you” for helping her get her Christmas shopping done. I was shocked and grateful at the same time and told her that I wouldn’t take advantage of that privilege. I selected things that I needed and went over my list with her before I placed the final order. I felt that Mrs. “W” was kind and generous to everyone who was in her employ. The “W” in her last name reminded me of someone who had their arms open wide as she gave so generously to the community, friends, and family. When I received the clothes I would show them to her. She just smiled because it not only gave her joy to give, but also to see how the clothes fit and how happy it made me too! There was jacket that I ordered that was sold out and was on back order. It was a teal “peacock jacket” with artistic peacock feathers in the material. She especially liked that one, and said it would look lovely on me with my dark hair and green eyes.
Every year for about 20 years, Helen, the “snow-bird,” spent six months in her condominium located in the Florida Keys. For a majority of the time – she spent winters there with her husband after he retired. She asked me one year if I wanted to go with her and I should have taken that opportunity. I worked at Wright Patterson Air Force Base part-time in the kitchen – and felt I needed that position to fall back on. When she was in Florida she had care down there so my full-time job with her was only for six months a year. It did make me feel good though that she asked and trusted me enough to assist her at her winter home away from home. She would normally spend time with her family before leaving and Thanksgiving was the final family gathering each year. Sharon, her main caregiver, spent a lot of time and energy packing and getting her car ready to ship. Sharon went with her every time to get her set up in her condo then she would fly back. There were caregivers in Florida that assisted Helen. She was able to fly on a friend’s private plane to her destination in the Keys several times. I felt that she was connected with The Divine because things just fell into place for her very easily. She worked with the ebb and flow of the universe and would spend hours in nature tending to her garden if the weather permitted it.
The third year that I assisted Helen was a good year. She really didn’t open up much to other caregivers, but with me she came out of her shell more. We became closer and I feel that she looked forward to my scheduled arrival time. There were several health scares for her…she had a long list of ailments – heart surgery, esophagus stretched, bladder issues….and I really didn’t know how many pills she took daily which were both vitamins and prescriptions. One time she said she wasn’t doing well and I felt that she was dehydrated…they took her to the hospital and checked her out. There was nothing really wrong with her, but I think she was just tired of living. She mentioned that to me several times in the evenings when I assisted her in brushing her hair. There was another instance where she thought she was having a heart attack and was in the hospital for a week then went on to a nursing home just so she could be watched. She still wanted all of us to sit with her while she was re-cooperating for a few weeks and enjoyed our company.
Mrs. “W” and her oldest daughter had a “tight” relationship. I noticed Dottie coming over to the house more in October and November of that year. There were some tears shed in the sitting room between the two women. Sharon felt there was something going on that she couldn’t put her finger on. After some time, it was revealed that Sharon would not be going down to the Keys to get Mrs. “W” all situated after the trip down there. Dottie was the one taking her place. I think Sharon tolerated Dottie as did everyone else – just friction. Sharon had worked with the family for over ten years. She was the first caregiver of Mr. “W” before he passed away. She was clearly upset on the sudden change of plans but still packed Mrs. “W”s things for the long 6 month stay in Florida. Sharon and I felt something was definitely going on because the normal balance in Helen’s home – was unbalanced.
Helen had many visitors while in Florida – and I understood that her condo was beautiful and close to the ocean. Her granddaughter, Tracy, was newly engaged and visited her grandmother when she could. She was the adopted daughter of Dottie and was in her early 30’s. Tracy would call her grandmother often when I was there and they really enjoyed talking to one another. Mrs. “W” would give Tracy her opinions on things and a lot of advice…which I thought was very sweet. I am not certain how long Tracy was there with her mom and Mrs. “W” in Florida – only a few days I think. It was rumored that Helen at one point didn’t even want to see Tracy and wouldn’t allow her to say goodbye before returning to DC. Dottie was very protective of her mother and Sharon and I didn’t have a good feeling about it.
Mrs. “W” had passed away a week shy of her 94th Birthday. The facts about what really happened in Florida were sketchy at best. Sharon and I feared the worst, but maybe that was in Divine Order and that she passed away in the place she loved so much. All of us caregivers were upset about her death. Helen was such a wonderful and caring woman – who had an occasional sharp tongue but rarely raised her voice. Helen was very mild-mannered, and I feel that our energies complimented one another which was probably another reason that she requested me.
The funeral was held about a week later due to the transportation of Mrs. “W” to Ohio from Florida. She had many friends, caregivers, and family that attended. Dottie spoke and thanked everyone for coming and paying their respects to her mother. Tracy got up to speak, and could barely get the words out when giving her brief talk at the funeral. She was clearly in mourning and there were things that nobody knew exactly what happened on Helen’s last trip to the Keys. Tracy knew. I am sure some of those last images of her grandmother were not the most pleasant. When Helen passed it was a week shy of her 94th birthday and was celebrated into this world on December 14, 1916.
I think for me – Mrs. “W” was more of a friend than an employer. Our friendship grew over time and her faith and trust in me grew. In the coming weeks I was mourning a friend that I lost and one who was a very special person in my life. I felt that I brought some happiness to her. The next week I received a rather large box from UPS which was addressed to me. I thought that I had received all the clothes that Helen let me purchase from the catalogs as her special gift to me for my Birthday. I opened the box and took out all the tissue paper that surrounded the garment inside. Tears filled my eyes as I took out the beautiful teal peacock jacket that I had completely forgotten it was backordered. I tried it on and it was definitely a “show stopper” and fit perfectly. The day I received the jacket was December 14, 2010. It was as if Mrs. “W” was trying to tell me that everything was alright and she gave me a gift on her birthday. After my tears stopped, I hung the jacket in a protective covering where it has remained unworn for almost five years. It will be a very special occasion when I wear the jacket because I felt it’s what Helen wanted. Hopefully, soon, I can wear that jacket and know that Mrs. “W” is smiling and full of joy as I wear it in her honor and remember such a sweet and kind woman and that feeling to this day still reminds me of my own grandmother….Helen.
I have always looked back on things that have happened in my life and wondered if I would do anything differently. Certainly, there is a resounding “yes” to many things. This also brings to mind a man by the name of Mahendra Trivedi. He has been gifted a unique energy from The Divine that has helped thousands of people all over the world. I feel that his energy could have helped Mrs. “W” with her depression and other ailments and given her more balance in her life where she needed it. The Trivedi Effect® is a form of healing that can assist a person in their life. This form of treatment is due to the Energy Transmissions that Mr. Trivedi, Dahryn Trivedi, Alice Branton, and Gopal are blessed with. The Trivedi Effect® is an alternative medium to help individuals with physical, emotional, social, mental, spiritual, and sexual challenges naturally. Some things cannot be cured with traditional medical science and those people who have experienced this energy have had breakthroughs in many areas of their lives and the level of effectiveness is high.
I have been involved with Trivedi Master Wellness™ for about a year now. I have noticed in my life that things are falling into place more easily. My health is improving – cholesterol is lower and blood pressure is also lower. Many situations and individuals that were negative in my life and did not serve me – have just fallen away. My energy level is higher, my intuition and alertness are more advanced. I am getting calls for higher paying jobs without even trying – whereas before this energy, I worked hard at it and rarely received replies. I feel very strongly that a higher paying career is right around the corner for me. I feel that this unique and powerful energy can assist you in your life too! The love and support that I have received from this organization is wonderful! I can honestly say that I have found exactly what I have been looking for – for over 20 years…a spiritual family that cares. They have helped me in my life and I am blessed to be a small part of this global healing phenomenon.