A Silent Tear

Alexis was a happy woman…or so it seemed. I met her over a year ago at a Wellness Expo in Sharonville, Ohio. At the time, she had her friend Nancy with her and she said that she had known Nancy since kindergarten. We all attended a couple seminars together and Alexis and I exchanged phone numbers before leaving the Expo.

After a couple weeks passed I contacted her and got her email address and we communicated on and off that way for a few months. She has a high energy outside sales career and everybody really loves her. I never felt that selling tobacco products was the right avenue for her, but she could probably sell ice cubes to an Eskimo…so the saying goes. Her career of choice would to be working for a company where she could demonstrate products on television…like Home Shopping Network. She really has a bubbly personality and selling on TV would really suit her and give her joy. She would be in her element and loving every minute of it! She is a cute and caring 60+ woman who looks 45, and very petite. She takes pretty good care of herself, but her mental state has gotten worse since I have known her.

A few months later in July of that year, Alexis found out that she would have to get another residence because her sales territory had moved further north – so in September of that year Nancy and her husband Henry, helped Alexis move to her new home in Englewood, Ohio. They had everything moved in three days and about 80% was completed, which was amazing to me. I remember speaking with her a few times and she was exhausted and stressed. She was obsessed with the fact that everything in her new home had to be so-so and I am sure it drove Nancy and Henry a little crazy. They both seemed to help Alexis many times and were good friends to her. I think they felt since Alexis didn’t have a significant other they needed to watch over her.

A year before I met her, Alexis was in a serious relationship with a gentleman whom she felt was her true Soulmate. She told me that he had two girls and she became close to both of them. John was the man of her dreams and even though they broke up almost two years ago she is still mesmerized by him. I don’t know the particulars of their split but it ended badly and he broke up with her on Valentine’s Day. She has really never gotten over that incident and still questions why it happened. Since they broke-up she has been on several dating sites hoping to find that “right guy” to share her life with. She is very religious and moral and I certainly do hope she finds that special man, but appearances tend to be a bit “tricky.” She had lot of calls and dates from many men who didn’t want a committed relationship and all they wanted was a relationship with no strings attached. She finally got off the dating sites recently which was a good move. She would call me so many times with drama over these guys which were “players.” I am not saying all dating sites are bad by any means. I think you have to be mentally ready for a real relationship – and she is still stuck on John from her past which may be the reason why things are not progressing in her present.

There is some background information that Alexis explained to me that was shocking. She first married when she was in her early 20’s to an Air Force Officer who flew jets. Apparently, he was on a mission when his plane malfunctioned and crashed. Alexis was a widow before the age of 30 which to me, would cause a young woman to be depressed for a long period of time. A few years later – she met Jim and they were married for many years before she had her first child, a son, at age 43. She said Jim really connected with their new son, Andy. She said their marriage had some rough spots – but Andy was her “Poo Bear” and said that she would always think of him as her little boy. Time Passed and apparently Jim was abusive to Alexis and Andy witnessed this behavior. According to Alexis, Andy joined his father in the abuse and left Alexis beaten and bruised in a forest in Montana. She couldn’t press charges as he was on the police force and she would be in worse trouble. She divorced Jim five years ago when her son was 14 years of age. Andy chose to live with his father which was another heart-break for Alexis that her only son was way across the United States from her and she didn’t get to see him – and also with her abusive ex-husband. That whole situation alone would cause depression which would be understood, but at this point needed some relief with proper medication. She always feels alone and that no one loves her. She got mad and Nancy and Henry and refuses to see them anymore. She and her sister, Becky, are not on speaking terms, yet live in the same neighborhood five minutes from one another. She told me that she has two brothers that live out of state and they also do not communicate with her. I feel at this point, Alexis felt hopeless and alone. She tries to hide how she really feels which is rejected over and over again and left alone to deal with life.

Alexis took her son to Annapolis when he was 15 because he had an interest in the Naval Academy and she really wanted the best for him. She knew that he would do great things one day and had mentioned to me that some of the workers and professors there thought he had already been accepted into the program! They offered to show them both around the school grounds. Impressive, I thought. After she and Jim divorced and she moved out of state – Andy had some adjustments to make and as he matures hopefully he will realize the disrespect and abuse he had shown to his mother and make it up to her somehow.

Fast forward to today…her son did get accepted to Annapolis this July and is studying hard in all his classes and excelling. He has decided to join the “Special Forces” and receive training in that inclusive of his regular studies in naval training. He gets a small window of communication to his mother every Sunday at 3:00 pm. Sometimes he does not call her because of his studies and possible he has met some young men and women his age that he wants to socialize with. Alexis gets extremely upset if he doesn’t call. Her world right now is her son, and I have told her that he needs to have time to himelf and to mature a bit more. I told her that she just needs to have faith that he is fine and let him follow his path. She can’t do that for him. She tends to have a controlling personality because I think she is used to that in the sales jobs she has held in the past and sometimes I think that can’t be shut off in her family life and in relationships. I am no expert, however, I can see patterns of behavior in her that play out over and over again and my help and advice has always fallen on deaf ears with her. Alexis does need help and is denial of her present situation.

“Struggles Only People with Concealed Depression Can Understand”

After reading a story by Ramanpreet Kaur, I realized that my friend, Alexis has many of these symptoms. After getting to know her over time and talking for hours and spending lots of time with her- I have tried to offer help. However, at some point, I feel there needs to be an “ah ha” moment when someone says “Is this the way life is supposed to be?” The treadmill has never stopped rolling but at the same time keeps playing the same situations over time and time again. That really must be awful to be in stress and also having depression. I don’t wish that life on anyone but recognizing the symptoms is a step in the right direction.

1. Hiding depression is a hard thing to do because you want to let on that everything is normal. They mask their emotions because they don’t want to appear weak and fragile – they want to appear happy and in control to others which can be emotionally draining.
2. Being alone is terrifying – they like to be alone sometimes, and also useful to be in another’s company. It can be a major adjustment from one to another. (There is also fear of the future associated with this.) Loneliness can also be too extreme – to the point of obsession over someone – example Alexis and John.
3. Eating and sleeping patterns are erratic. Sometimes too much sleep or not enough sleep causes even deeper depression and interrupts the natural sleeping patterns of humans.
4. They know what life and death is and that things should not be taken for granted. (Severe cases of depression there are thoughts, attempts, or planned out suicides)
5. They look for a purpose in life – something that fuels their passion. (Often cases of depression result in lack of motivation and isolation to protect one from hurt, or constantly think about the past and not live in the present.)
6. Depressed people try to discover love in small ways. (Isolation and lack of interest in many things may cause situations to be blown out of proportion.) Individuals with concealed depression might very well be very strong and beautiful people. (They need to recognize those traits in themselves.)
7. They have outburst of crying at times when things are too hard to take. It is best to let it all out and the person will feel better afterwards. It is okay not to be perfect all the time.
8. Have a routine – have something to look forward to in your spare time. Join a health club or get involved in something that you like to do such as dancing. If you get active and start to enjoy life – having planned adventures on a regular basis will cause some of the symptoms to fade.
9. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Talk to a family member, get involved in a support group, or seek professional help. It takes courage to admit that you need help and determination to follow through with the help. There are alternative ways to go about this which will be discussed.
10. Re-direct your thoughts and focus on positive things -vs- the negative. Be grateful for things every day – your home, your pet, children, spouse, etc. Doing this will help in many ways simply by changing your focus to the positive aspects in your life.

My thanks to Ramanpreet Kaur for these helpful insights. I have also added some information in parenthesis and traits that I have noticed from Alexis.

There are many adverse symptoms for both men and women who have depression. There are many physical side-affects that happen among both sexes. Emotional or Psychological stress can cause hair loss, poor digestion from increased stomach acid, insomnia which is the lack of sleep difficulty in concentrating, lack of motivation, reduced sex drive and low libido. Also, there may be a change in appetite with 10% of people have a loss of appetite and 90% have increased appetite. If the body is responding to low-grade stress consistently you will crave high carbohydrate foods which may cause weight gain. In women, research has found that high levels of cortisol can result in weight gain in the stomach area along with a decreased metabolism. (Increased appetite and sugar cravings can also produce more weight gain.) Your body has a prepared protection system, however, when the system is constantly being bombarded with acute stress, this can cause body aches and pains, constricted blood vessels, and elevated heart rate. If the condition persists, headaches, migraines, neck/shoulder pain can occur as well as shooting and nerve pains in the back.

Women are twice as likely to experience stress –vs- men. Stress at work, difficult life events such as a death or divorce can also result in elevated levels of cortisol which is an absolute trigger by depression. Women also experience a higher rate of cardiovascular events are often in individuals with high-strung personalities in careers that are in demanding and high-stress careers. Strokes are more common in people with stressful lives and have tightly-wound personalities. Women that have high levels of continual stress have difficulty getting pregnant. Women with higher levels of alpha-amylase (an enzyme linked to stress) during a menstrual cycle have a 12 percent less chance to conceive –vs- women the lowest amount of alpha-amylase in their bodies.

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Another symptom that I did not realize was that tooth pain that is not associated with common tooth decay or gum disease could be stress-related. This is something to be aware of and is a red flag your mouth is telling you…just listen. Many people may not realize that eyelid twitching is a spasm that may also be caused by stress. This can happen for a few minutes to several weeks. Keep track of when the spasms occur and events causing the spasms to indicate how you can limit or completely remove this nagging event.

Life has many twists and turns – unexpected events and loss of loved ones, careers, and even pets. Each individual has their own story and life experiences. Aside from the physical ailments – depression could be genetic. If this has occurred in a family in the past…it may be more likely it can occur in the present and to seek proper help if this is you or someone in your immediate family.

There are many behavioral and personality traits that that can alter a person’s general demeanor when overloaded with stress. I am including this information because Alexis has stress and depression. As the hormone levels change the substances that help maintain mood are also altered. Some of the traits are: short-tempered, irritable, mood swings, restlessness, sometimes indulge in substance abuse, mental fogginess, and constantly anxious. Sometimes this behavior can go unnoticed unless you can clearly see that the person is not acting like his or herself. This can definitely affect a person’s career and personal life. It is very important to adopt lifestyle changes in stress management and keep your mind relaxed and focused to improve the areas in your life with a positive support system.

My friend, Alexis, would greatly benefit from Mahendra Trivedi’s gift from The Divine which is healing energy from Universal Intelligence and Alexis could just receive this energy. The energy has the ability to connect a person to The Life Force. This concept is called The Trivedi Effect® which assists in helping individuals with better physical and mental health, sexual pleasure, emotional balance, abundance, better relationships, and a stronger connection with The Divine. Mr. Trivedi along with the Trivedi Healers, Alice Branton, Dahryn Trivedi, and Gopal Nayak are all gifted with this energy and can perform Energy Transmissions and are considered Trivedi Masters.

In my experience, I can tell you that the Energy Transmissions are very powerful and the more I receive them, I am noticing some physical changes. I have lost about ten pounds and kept it off for five months. My cholesterol levels are within a normal range after getting tests done and being off the medication for three weeks! My ability to focus and mental concentration is stronger and even though I have always been aware of my surroundings – my sight is improving. Things are falling into place much better and with more ease and grace – for example, closer parking spaces are available, people at work are more respectful of me, and I tend to be more productive at work without really trying…things are much easier to me. I feel more joy and happiness in my life and feel more connected to God. I am able to tell much quicker if someone is lying to me –vs- telling me the truth. I have been with this organization going on 14 months now and it has been the best decision that I have made for my overall spiritual growth and physical and mental wellbeing.

If you or someone that you know suffers from depression, chronic illness, stress, or relationship problems- those are just a few of the things Mehendra Trivedi and the Trivedi Masters can help with and you owe it to yourself and your family to find out more about the different programs that are offered with this company.